What Most Married Men Don’t Understand About the Mental Load

First things first: It has nothing to do with yard work

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Apparently, married heterosexual men do a lot of yard work. At least that’s what they keep telling me. I’m not sure why they keep telling me, but it’s really important to them that I know this.

I mean, why are women like me out here complaining about inequity in heterosexual marriages when all these men are out there doing yard work? Yard work is serious labor! It is sweaty and grimy and tiring. (Gardening, meanwhile, is a cute, feminine side hobby, but I digress.)

Ever since I’ve lived in a house with a yard, albeit a very, very small one, I too have done yard work. My ex-husband frequently referenced a time when he did all the yard work, a time that existed only in his imagination. He also liked to talk quite a bit about all the yard work he did. Then he stopped doing yard work because he didn’t feel like doing it anymore, which meant I went from doing some of it to all of it, while he talked about all the yard work he used to do.

Now, as a single mom, I not only do all the yard work, but also all the other manly chores my husband used to do, like taking out the trash and packing the trunk when we go on a trip. And guess what? These are all my favorite chores. They are…